I Guess My Blog is a Toddler Now

gChat conversation with a friend a week after I stopped posting on my original blog. I still attribute the not-dying of this blog to this chat. Nothing like trying to prove someone wrong to motivate me.   (Also, cringing at middle school me using XD excessively)

gChat conversation with a friend a week after I stopped posting on my original blog. I still attribute the not-dying of this blog to this chat. Nothing like trying to prove someone wrong to motivate me. (cringing at middle school me using XD excessively)

When I set up my first blog, I had to make decisions. A lot of them–regarding titles, taglines, URLs, hosts, platforms, themes, fonts, column widths, blog backgrounds, headers, sidebars, footers, colors. Zero of those things have stayed the same since then. But even as I’ve gone through three URL changes, two blog names, two platforms , three taglines, various theme changes, and even more color and background changes, 1 writing to the internet has gotten easier.

Now, I only have one decision to make. What to write.

What hasn’t gotten easier is coming up with topics. I don’t like regurgitating other people’s ideas, I don’t read/experience enough to write a review/travel blog, fashion blogs are not my thing, 2 and I was never one for writing fiction or poetry. My posts now are a messy synthesis of my readings and thoughts with pseudo-legit personal analysis. I constantly have tangles of thoughts fluttering in my head, and it’s only recently that I’ve started chasing and pinning them down before they fly away– usually to 1) return and bother me later or 2) annoy me when I read someone else writing about MY COMPLETELY ORIGINAL EPIPHANY.

High school hasn’t made me much wiser, but it has given me more issues to think about and the (delusional) confidence to type them to the internet. In retrospect, I see my transition from the early overly-cheery, sterile posts written out of boredom, to the active cynicism and ranting during second semester freshman year,  to typing out the first thing that comes to mind during NaBloPoMo, to the lack of posting around AP season, to my yearly post about being indecisive about trich, to the craft posts that make their way in, to formulating half-baked ideas about society and identity and other -ty’s.

I’m not satisfied with most of my posts at the time of publication, but occasionally, a couple posts jump out at me when I read them a few months. (Yes, I read my own blog. Judge me.)

I’m hoping that I become well-read enough someday to have an educated opinion that matches my blog title. 3 Writing isn’t something that makes me bubble up with excitement inside, but I always come back to this blog with some wacko idea that I need to formally write out and structure, oftentimes pushing aside other important tasks in order to write.

I want this blog to become one of the great works of my life. Here, I get to frame my life narrative. Here, I can express thoughts that have zero relevance to my life. [See: How to Pretend to be Happy on the Internet] Here, I’m allowed to obsess over phrasings for hours. 4 Here, I get to be indecisive. Here, I can to not post for a month or post every day, with only myself to blame. Here, I get infinite second chances.  Here, I have an audience that motivates me to write. (I think.) Here, I can spend hundreds of hours writing and refining posts and am proud of every minute.

This marks post #173. Let’s keep going.

~ ~ ~

Feel good, trashy pop, 3-song playlist to this post:

  • New Romantics, Taylor Swift
  • Want to want me, Jason Derulo
  • Believer, American Authors

  1. And learning how to footnote! 
  2. Though I still have no idea how Tavi Genivison accomplished Rookie Mag and will be forever envious of her 
  3. The title “Educated Opinions” was a punny suggestion by a friend for the blog that ended up being “Dear HISD.” Meaning, the posts weren’t supposed to be educated opinions, but rather opinions about being educated. I hated to see the name go to waste though after it wasn’t used so I took it for what was formerly “afois” which was formerly “afanofideas” I never fully explained that. 
  4. I’m still trying to figure out a rough estimate for how long it takes to write a blog post. 100 words an hour is a good rule of thumb, though it may be closer to 75 depending on distraction level/nit-pickiness in editing. 
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