Some posts I can only write during the quiet stage of euphoria that I reach late at night while calming music plays. I feel like this is one of those posts.
A part of me doesn’t want to leave my computer and the obligationless world of the Internet. Going to sleep only means waking up to another bleary day of school, another dose of unnecessary stress
There’s a liberating feeling of not having to care about anything other than words on a screen, as all the sharp edges of life are dulled by the twinkling music.
It’s usually at these times that I feel a complete sense of focus, with the fan of my computer softly whirring as a playlist of the most gentle songs I can think of plays in the background. Although now that I think about it, I’m probably really sleep-deprived and not thinking logically at all. Nevermind that.
What’s stopping me from pulling an all-nighter right now and embracing the silence of the early morning hours? The lights from the screen are more than enough to keep me awake for a few more hours, and how many chances does one ever get to quietly contemplate life without the distraction of the outside world?
What’s the use in caring about anything anyways? It’s all too much effort, just a mere distraction from the beauty of consciousness. Can I just stay like this forever, as an eternal recluse with no one to judge me?
Answer: No. Despite my lazy drunkenness right now, some innate feeling is telling me that I’m not functioning properly and that I should go to sleep before I actually become delusional. Yes, to wake up unwillingly to a day of harshness. Yes, to face the world for what it is, not the hazy utopia I’m imagining it as. Because that’s what life is. Goodnight.
Playlist to this post:
- White Houses by Vanessa Carlton
- Black Star by Avril Lavigne
- From Where You Are by Lifehouse
- Saviour by LIGHTS
- Cactus in the Valley by LIGHTS
- Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap
- Everytime by Britney Spears
- Up in the Stars by Swimming with Dolphin