Stories from Middle School: The Yogurt Ritual

My friends and I were eating lunch one day when one of us pulled out a yogurt and a spoon. Nothing special, until my friend wondered aloud, “Hey! Let’s try poking holes in this!”

And thus began one of our most bizarre lunch traditions.

After attacking the yogurt with the back of her spoon for a few minutes, my friend eagerly tapped me on the shoulder and exclaimed, “Look, look! My yogurt!”

She had poked holes onto the lid to form a face, complete with two eyes, a nose, and a wide grin. I smiled back at her.

Then she started pouring key lime pie yogurt out of the happy face. Globs of smooth yogurt came out of the Yoplait container as it happily regurgitated its green contents.

The whole scene was pretty gross to look at, but we couldn’t stop cracking up as the yogurt kept drooling onto the spoon and kept cheering on the yogurt until the last drops finally dripped out.


Hopefully, this is the only drawing you’ll ever see by me.

A few days later, another one of my friends brought a yogurt for lunch.

We all chanted, “Poke holes in the lid! Poke holes in the lid!”

So we did it again, but with a couple variations. Instead of only pouring yogurt out of the mouth, we tried the eyes too. Now our yogurt was draining slime out of its eyes like a Halloween skull.

After a few more faces stabbed onto yogurt lids and excitedly spilling out their colored guts, we started referring to this as the “yogurt ritual” and we performed it religiously every time someone brought a yogurt.

This so-called ritual also had weird side effects. One of my perfectly sane friends would innocently proclaim, “It makes me happy!” in an angelic voice every time this ritual was performed, as if it were normal to enjoy watching yogurts throw up on a weekly basis.

Finally, one of us was civilized enough to realize the horrors of our actions and started complaining, “Stop doing that! It’s disgusting!”

We still did it.

However, over time, the ritual lost its…uniqueness, and then one day, my friend that started all this held her spoon in one hand and a yogurt in the other and declared, “I’m going to eat this the normal way today!”

“Yippee!” we all cheered. No more, “It makes me happy!” (even though it was pretty interesting) and “That’s disgusting!”

And there was the end of our historic yogurt ritual.


4 thoughts on “Stories from Middle School: The Yogurt Ritual

  1. Pingback: Stories from Middle School: “The Emily Story” | afanofideas

  2. Pingback: Concluding Stories from Middle School | Educated Opinions

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